indiogrl's Cancer Blog

August 6, 2008

Treatments

Views: 89

One of the reasons I decided to do this was to get the feedback from everyone and I love it, I find it so affirming to know that I wasn’t crazy with all I was going through – thank you for the comments!

One of the things I found most shocking about my treatments was the recommendation to have a peg tube inserted into my stomach. I think that really startled me and made me realize this was truly going to be difficult. I thought about that recommendation for a weekend and decided yes, I wanted the feeding tube.

So I went in for my first chemo / radiation on July 30, 2007. My chemo was inpatient, as the drug they use for my type of cancer is very strong and is hard for your kidneys to process, so they keep you inpatient so they can juice up your kidneys before they start the chemo drip.

I was in the hospital for five days that time.

So when I came home I had started to bounce back a little. But by the time of my second chemo, the radiation was starting to take a toll. By then I was using the feeding tube exclusively. My spit had become chokingly thick. I had to carry around a roll of paper towel and a plastic cup to keep that gunk out of my mouth. Don’t you all think one of the worst things about being sick is the absolute grossness of it all?

After my second chemo I don’t remember much. I was basically sick and in bed for weeks. Just a blur. I do remember how much my family and friends tried to help but you know, there is just only so much they can do when you are feeling so bad that dying seems like a good option.

Anyway, I did get through it and eventually the treatments came to an end on September 12. The problem there is that then you are left to yourself. And you don’t really get better very quickly. The next thing that happened to me was that I was hit with a depression so deep I couldn’t dig myself out. I cried all the time. I still couldn’t eat, and I was still losing weight. I was still spitting and puking it seemed like every ten minutes. Where was the healing?????

Posted on August 6, 2008 at 12:18:33 PM by Heidi ( Treatments, 1 comment)

Dear Heidi; So sorry to hear of all the pain you endured with chemo and radiation. It sounds as if you just can’t let it go. Here we are in 2008 – August. How are you feeling now? Fill us in on your recent events. And it might help you to be a supporter to others, to try and help them too while you are going through your own troubles. Sometimes when we help each other we can feel a connection and then a thankfullness we are not alone. Just a thought. Weezie

Posted on August 11, 2008 at 12:44:25 PM by weezie

August 4, 2008

The Beginning

Views: 122

So in February 2007 I had a cold, and noticed a lump in my neck which I thought was just a swollen lymph node due to the cold. But the cold got better and the lump didn’t go away. Tried a couple of different antibiotics, and by the end of May had an ultrasound and then a CT scan of the lump. My surgeon really thought it was just a benign cyst, but he thought we should remove it just to be sure.

So on May 29 I had surgery. They took a sample of the lump up to pathology and reported back…. no cancer! So I went home to heal for a couple of days.

Two days later I got a call back. The doctor wanted to check the stitches, so could I please come in first thing in the morning? So before I went to work, I stopped off at the doctor’s to let him look at my neck. That’s when they told me – the full pathology report had found cancerous cells in my lymph node.

So it was time to develop a plan. My doctor really believed the primary source of the cancer was my right tonsil. They couldn’t see anything on the CT scan, but he told me his feeling was very strong that it was the tonsil. On June 12, I went in for more surgery. They removed both my tonsils and did what is called a radical neck dissection – that is basically where they remove a bunch of lymph nodes and tissue from the area where the cancer was found.

The surgery confirmed the doctors feeling – there was a tumor on my right tonsil. The next steps involved radiation and chemotherepy. The surgery was bad for a few days but nothing – I mean nothing – compared to the radiation and chemo. I would do that surgery 10 times over to avoid the other. But you can’t do that. So I figured I’d just get through it and be strong. I really did not know what I was in for…. which looking back on it, I think was probably a good thing.

Posted on August 4, 2008 at 2:09:52 PM by Heidi ( The Beginning, 2 comments)

Heidi,
Sounds like you are on the path to recovery. That is awesome!

Keep us posted and God’s speed.

Mac

Posted on August 4, 2008 at 3:49:07 PM by rigidridr

I’m glad you’re getting back to “normal” – a new normal anyway. I was diagnosed in January, 2007. I went through chemo, surgery (still going through more surgeries) and radiation. Now I’m finished as well, but mentally it’s still very hard to adjust to life as it used to be. It will never be the same. In some ways, cancer changes your whole perspective for the better. Getting cancer is not a “gift” from God, I don’t believe, but it does “give” positive changes in your outlook, gives you more clarity on what the important things in life are, and helps you realize just how strong you really are. ** I used to live in Farmington Hills when I was just out of college. I lived with two other girlfriends in an apartment off of Haggerty Road and 13 Mile. I grew up in Walled Lake! We’re now in Cleveland. I miss it back in Michigan though. Take care and keep us posted! Soon maybe we’ll go a day – or two – without thinking of cancer.

Posted on August 4, 2008 at 6:01:29 PM by jkgullo

I have decided to write!

Views: 178

People keep telling me I should write about my cancer experience. Honestly, I couldn’t do it while I was going through it…. but now that I’m on the other side of this thing, I am going to do a little bit of writing. I may only write little bits at a time but hopefully they will help someone. I know that after I was better, I spent so much time reading the experiences of others, to try to better understand what I went through.

I don’t smoke. I exercise and eat healthy. Why did I get cancer of the tonsil, for goodness sake? I don’t know. But I did and I went through some very nasty treatments. But now I feel great and I absolutely am in love with my life.

I will write a bit more about my treatments later. Right now I just want to introduce myself – I’m now 46 years old, I have a husband and a 9-year old daughter. And I have amazing friends. I’m hoping to make some more amazing friends online!

Posted on August 4, 2008 at 8:09:45 AM by Heidi ( I have decided to write!, 4 comments)

Heidi,

Welcome, if you think “Cancer Sucks” you have come to the right place. I am writing this from my hospital room so I am not yet on the other side. I can asure you that you have come to the best little place on the net to explore your cancer as well as provide a little support to others. Again welcome.

Have a nice day!

EyeCandy (Paul)

Posted on August 4, 2008 at 8:29:30 AM by eyecandy

Welcome “home”. this is a wonderful and friendly place where you are family as soon as you walk in. Kinda like the neighborhood hangout.

Like Paul said, “the best place on the web”

Enjoy
Mac

Posted on August 4, 2008 at 1:32:34 PM by rigidridr

i have read your posting and am glad that you are now on the other side.. but i believe that it is even so much nicer how one appreciates life so much more and realize the true value of life
My moto is ” Life is precious and life is very short” Oh how we come to realize the people around us so very much more and a speciall loves lives with them always.. It truly makes one realize that even if they live until they are 90 yrs old that it is only a short period of time compared to eternity.. as for me it has increase my faith in God so much more than before,, and secondly my wife an my children and my grandchildren. oh how precious they have become.
Yet I have also realize that cancer is never finished with me but it shall not defeat me..
And so i just want to wish you the best in life and my God watch over you and your family in a special way ….. your friend Ray

Posted on August 5, 2008 at 2:32:15 PM by rayoflights7

Hellow Heidi; Another person here to welcome you to the club. Yes this is the place to find new meaning, hope, pure facts and of course support for what you are going through. Some of us feel like old hat but in reality most of us have been members for a couple of years. This thing we call the devils advocate is beyond most of our reach but we do instill in each other a hope, prayer and undying understanding of what is going on, even if we don’t understand all the garble of the Dr.’s speak. This is the place to vent, revitalize, reconnect with our inner feelings without a lot of guilt. Yes I think we all have guilt that we feel our loved ones are getting involved, without knowing that they too are in limbo, feeling helpless and alone. But the real thing is: We can’t deal with them when the real thing is our life and not theirs. You get it…. Guilt breeds guilt, so that’w why we are here talking instead of being in the moment with our family.. Not so bad really cause they have their own sorrows and hurt that they don’t want to put on us. I get it, and so do most of us. So welcome here to the blog of assistance and friendship. Nothing will harm us as long as we stick together and fight fight fight. So here it is in black and white. No colours, no fame, no miracles just CANCER. that’s it and that is all we have that is different from our loved ones that love us. Soon it may be their turn so they are afraid it might be them next. I get that too. We are the pirana of the species but who better to trail blaze the situation than YOU ME AND ALL THE OTHER BLOG FOR A CURE CHAPIONS. Stick with us, cause what other place can provide such inspiration? /see you later…..

Posted on August 5, 2008 at 4:37:43 PM by weezie